tighter than a crabs pussy.

The girl is of asian descent, beaten to a pulp, emaciated and drugged out of her mind in the back of the hair salon, yellow newspaper covers most of the window space, Can't believe we thought this might have worked for us.
Its pinning me down, Black Muscle and snakelike it convulses and even if it may not want me to watch, it wants me to be THERE, to be a part of the killing and I can feel it through every convulsion across my stomach. I won't be a witness, I won't watch but I'm there and its probably a million times worse this way, I know its rape and I know it's eating her and my mind flickers through a million, billion deaths she's going through and I lurch toward the glass door I know is locked.
Black muscle pins me and the wooden chair back against the wall squeezing every bit of air from my lungs, my ribs are broken and its enormous slug-like bulk lays across my lap, I swear my legs will break. besides, what was I thinking? even if I had got out... my girl was still in the far corner between the whitewashed glass facade and the chipped wall of tiles, koi fish, her emaciated hands clawed at her own face stuck in an expression of motionless, jaw-agape and yellowing horror, she's seeing all and I'm a part of it.
And its over, Its over, Its over. We aren't cool enough for this crowd and they know it. why are we here? its been weeks and without money the only sustenance is out of these barrels, neon lights and booming electronic beats a five year old could make disorient me. you look sick - fuck.
It must be the a.m.? 4 if I were to make a guess and this club, this party isn't for us and these silk dresses don't like each other, let alone me, us. I reach for the shellfish out of the barrel, I don't think they even came from the sea, years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of eating this shit and it makes me gag now, down my gullet and die. Silk skirt cunts.
I retire to the safe spot, safe enough - its a wall of glass tanks, full of live sea creatures, the one I always look at - it'll never be bought, who'd eat it?! its some kind of amphibian, four legs and a bulbous green/blue head its hue staining its tank as it rocks back and forth like a Sarajevo orphan with a head full of shrapnel, eased back from the dead for some reason. I think its mocking me.
I haven't seen you for years and you won't take the stage, you're blank and expressionless and you don't recognize me and it makes my heart bleed. Take the FUCKING stage! we're going to the Jew, you remember that much at least and he gives you what you need and me a small cup of tea and a nod. this looks like it was made out of ball point pens and copper wire. Jew, Kid, whoever, shoot it into my face. Shoot me up kid! in the face, RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE. the sun beats me into the shade of a roadside tree, the city looks old fashioned, simple, like it was put together by fuckwits. AND! I'm not even high, not even close.
This Stream is all bleach and ammonia, its burning my toes I know that much, Father is proud of me, I know that too. These kids are rich and obnoxious and collecting party stuffs they snarl comments at each other with reptillian hiss, they piss money, they bleed it. She's between 4 walls of glass and water and in a second she's all chinese sausages, seaweed, pig offal, octopus suckers. Her brother is climbing in too, sickening to watch but fascinating nonetheless and I'm hard. This school is hip to the bone.
I'm in my room watching the city lit up by lightning - and I can't make rent.